There are simply really only two ways to be in life (with lots of variations). I don’t always choose the good way….sometimes I’m abrupt, even rude. I interrupt, I judge, I complain. So here is a NEW TAKE on “how to be.” Stay with me now – this isn’t a self-help post. It’s a Lessons Learned post.
The other day two people encountered the same situation and handled it completely differently, i.e., me and my daughter Cassandra.
First, my approach. Driving my granddaughter to a cheer competition at the Reliant Arena in Houston, I entered the parking lot. Standing there, right in my line of vision, was a man waving wildly and gesturing for me to “turn this way.” No bones about it. He meant business. His entire demeanor irritated me. I followed his direction – grumbling all the way. I dropped my granddaughter off to practice for the competition and went to my daughter Cassandra’s house. Our plan was to visit at her house for the practice time and go together, with Fallon’s mom, to see the competition.
Second approach. Later that afternoon, we got into Cassandra’s Landrover to drive back to the competition. She entered the parking lot – and DIRECTLY in her line of vision is the same man waving with a determined look for her to “park over there.” Instead of getting irritated by his overly demonstrative direction of traffic, she said, ‘Hold on a minute, let’s go see this guy.”
So, she pulled right up to him and stopped the car. He was a small, older black man who appeared ready for an unpleasant encounter. However, she rolled down the window and leaning toward him with a big smile said, “Well, I was gonna go park but I was just so blinded by that smile of yours I had to come see you!” (he had not been smiling – BUT he did then…) I can’t remember all that she said, but let me tell you all something….he BEAMED in the glow of all that love and attention. His (toothless) smile was beautiful.
When we left the arena that day, she slowed down to wave goodbye to him. Each time, when we entered and when we left there were a few other workers around him – so it wasn’t only the man directing traffic that was smiling, beaming, and yes, laughing – it was his co-workers too. People, just like you and me, except they were spending their Sunday on the asphalt at Reliant working traffic.
That man’s smiling face is burned in my mind even now. So is the conviction that I’m a selfish sinner. How many times in this life could I have brought about a smile instead of perpetuating or even causing grief? Oh Lord, how many times?
I bet that sweet man will never forget the day a gorgeous woman in a new shiny black car stopped and told him he was special! I know one thing – I never will.
So let’s give it a try, shall we? How many people can you make smile in a day? In a week? All year long?
I encourage you to Go for it. I am.
Sunbeams and Straw Hats 